Closing the Gap: Goals and Growth

The conversation

You're supposed to be somewhere else by now, and you're not sure you're even on the way there. That isn't a glitch in the system. The way Gili sees it, that gap between where you are and where you want to be is exactly what's meant to push you forward. The test she offers is simple: if there's progress, you're on track. If there isn't, you're not, and maybe it's time to give yourself an honest score in the main areas of your life and see where things are actually stuck.

The truth

In the episode Gili says that the gap between what you have and what you want isn't a problem. It's the trigger that moves you forward.

The test for whether you're headed the right way is simple. Is there progress? You're on track. No progress? You're not.

Gili says that about 90 percent of people die without hope and without confidence, and that hope is the raw material dreams are built from.

Life here is built like a hero's story. There's something you have to overcome, and that is exactly what the soul came here to work on.

She recommends giving yourself a score from 1 to 5 in every major area of life, your body, money and work, relationships, happiness and self-fulfillment, so you can see exactly where the gaps are.

A good goal is specific and measurable in numbers, not a general statement. Before you chase it, it's worth asking why you want it in the first place.

Questions and answers

How do I know whether I'm even headed in the right direction toward my goals?

The test is simple. If there's progress, you're on track. If there's no progress, you're not. Gili stresses how important it is to know what you want and to stay focused on it, because most people go around without goals and without any clear direction.

What actually helps me close the gap and move forward, beyond the planning and the doing itself?

Beyond the action plan, it matters that you build small daily habits that will support the change over time, that you change your inner language so your fears don't turn into your identity, and that you act even without full certainty. On top of that, giving to other people, beyond your own needs, counts as the central key to success and to real meaning.

Gili's original episode description

A person has to be in motion, no matter what they already have in life. Even if you reached a goal, it will satisfy you for a while, until the next pleasure, as they say. That's the circularity of our lives, and it isn't a loop. It's a spiral. Everything in the universe is either growing or dying. So the first thing that will make you happy is a process. That's how we were designed, for growth.

Most of us have gaps between where we are and where we want to be, and that isn't a bad thing. That gap moves us, it's the trigger. And for anyone wondering, how do I know I'm on track? Easy! If there's progress, you're on track. If there isn't, then you're not.

There's research showing that you can get what you want within five years. The thing is that you have to know what you want, and you have to stay focused on it. Most people go around without goals, without dreams, without ambitions. They have no idea where they want to get to, and it looks perfectly fine to them. But if you stop and think about it for a moment, you'll see that it isn't, because it's like a plane flying with no destination. It's like the line the rabbit says to Alice: if you don't know where you want to get to, it doesn't matter which road you choose. Except Alice was in Wonderland and we're in the Land of Israel, in a reality where going with the flow is less of a good idea. Because if there's no destination and no intention, chances are that, like the sewage, you'll flow out to sea too. Not every goal has to be on a heavenly scale. I have a wide range of goals, right down to the level of my fingernails. Everyone has their own goals in life, and those can change too, because we change and so does the world. But right now, and for the near future, can you say what your goals are?