Entering the Garden of Eden

Why it's so hard to stop thinking about the person who hurt you

Episode 89 · March 20, 2025

Faith and trust in the Creator

The Truth Hurts · Episode 89 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

You know exactly what happened, and you still go back to it again and again. The same thoughts, the same anger, the same feeling that nothing is moving. According to Gili, that's no accident. We live what we believe, and most of what we do runs on an autopilot that comes straight out of the past. Healing doesn't start with the person who hurt you. It starts the moment you stop looking for answers outside and turn inward. And at the end, three simple ways you can start as soon as tonight.

The truth

  • The idea of an angry, punishing God is a human invention meant to control us, not a spiritual reality.

  • Suffering comes from ignoring the laws of life and from destructive thinking, not from punishment handed down from outside. It works like a bare electrical wire that shocks anyone who touches it.

  • About 95 percent of what we do day to day is automatic, a replay of the same thoughts, the same feelings and the same results from the past.

  • The way she sees it, the obsession with manifesting a car, money and a house keeps us stuck in the material world instead of leading us to understand that we are the creators ourselves.

  • Real healing begins when you stop focusing on the person who hurt you and on the past, and turn your attention inward.

  • Fast change is possible too. According to Joe Dispenza, 48 hours of a new thought and a new feeling can already create a new pathway in the brain.

Questions and answers

Why do I keep coming back to the same thoughts and the same patterns, and why does it seem like the people who hurt me never really change?

In the episode Gili explains that this happens because our thoughts and our feelings stay tied to the past. We keep thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same feelings, and that is a replay of old beliefs. Nothing changes as long as we don't change, because ultimately we live what we believe.

Is love the strongest emotion there is, or is there something stronger than it?

As it's described in the episode, the highest vibration ever measured was love, but then a higher one was found: authenticity. As she explains it there, that means being the real version of yourself, with no masks, no lies and no fear of being who you are.

Why can't I stop thinking about the person who hurt me, and how do I move from that to focusing on getting better?

When you focus on the person who hurt you and on the past, you let the harm spread and do more damage. Real healing begins when you stop looking for explanations outside and turn your attention inward, instead of dwelling on the source of the pain and looking for answers from the person who hurt you. The moment you release the past and stop identifying with the old wounds, you set yourself free and open up room for the future version you want to be. It matters that you have compassion for yourself, that you give yourself time and quiet, and that you're patient, because this is a process.

How long does it really take to change a deeply rooted pattern of thinking?

Less time than it seems. In the episode, Dr. Joe Dispenza says that 48 hours can already rewire your brain: a new thought creates a new pathway, and a new feeling that comes with it produces a chemical change in the body. It doesn't take years of treatment. It takes focus, a decision, and action that backs the decision up.

Why can't I stop thinking about the person who hurt me? It's as if their poison is still in me even though they aren't here anymore.

In the episode Gili tells a parable about a snake that bit us. Instead of taking care of ourselves and of the venom, we chase after the snake and try to prove to it that it's wrong. That's how we stay stuck at the source of the pain, looking for answers from the person who hurt us, instead of turning the focus inward, toward our own recovery.

Gili's original episode description

The key to life is understanding that you are the Creator and that the Creator is love. It's understanding that all souls were hewn from the same mountain, meaning from the same material, from the same Source, and that Source is love. The whole concept of a punishing God is something human beings invented in order to control other human beings, and bottom line, it's been working beautifully for them for generations now!

Life doesn't play favorites, not for better and not for worse. the Creator is life, and that essence of life is flowing through you at every moment, including this one. The thought behind Creation is love, which is to say that He comes with good. The question is what we do with that, and that comes down to our part in the game of life: our own free choice.

The principle is simple. Your life looks the way you see yourself. We are all mirrors of one another, and nothing is outside you. Now, I know you've heard that a million times already, so let's be precise, so you don't fall for all the cheap New Age spirituality, like every mentor promising you that you'll manifest a million dollars a week, or a new car and a hot blonde. That's a trap that keeps you inside the matrix under the cover of so-called spirituality. This obsession with manifesting material things keeps us in endless craving and endless attachment to matter. It keeps us in the physical world, instead of understanding that we are the creators ourselves.

This isn't about manifesting material things! It's about thinking of the purpose. It's about being in your real authenticity. It's about killing off all the characters you built to cover yourself. It's about accepting yourself no matter what is happening. It's about knowing that you chose to come into this world and that there's a purpose here, and it isn't to manifest a car or a house. The whole path is discovering the Creator, the love that I am, and embodying it here! It's understanding that it's your birthright to be happy, to enjoy yourself, to feel safe and to be comfortable with who you are. The goal was and still is heaven on earth, which is to say to reveal myself as love, like my Source, right here on this planet.

A good place to start is to stop being defined by other people's expectations. Nobody gets to decide for you. Only you do. Treat yourself with compassion. Give yourself the time and the quiet to discover who you are. Be patient, because this is a process. Be proud of the boundaries you set with other people, because that is an expression of self-love. Protect your energy. Other people's opinions are none of your business, so let them go and put your attention on yourself instead. Commit to yourself before you commit to other people's needs. You are enough, you were born enough, they just sold you the bluff that you aren't. Scientifically speaking there is nobody like you, there never was and there never will be. Know yourselves, be yourselves. Authenticity is above everything.