Who says the thing that made you angry today is really a bad thing
Episode 2 · April 3, 2023
The Truth Hurts · Episode 2 · audio in Hebrew
Something happens, and you can't get past it. It keeps coming back as a thought, it settles into a feeling, and sometimes it breaks out in the body, a flush in your cheeks or a leg that starts bouncing on its own. The way Gili Man Wolner sees it, what happened was never in our control, and even the first reaction, the spontaneous one, is almost automatic. But there is one point that really is up to us. Not what happened, but how long we stay stuck in the feeling that we are the victim of it. A moment, an hour, or seven years.
Life events are neutral and out of our control, but they aren't random either. They come specifically to wake something up in us.
It doesn't matter what you call the force that's bigger than us, whether the Creator, nature or the universe, as long as you understand that this is an energy bigger than human beings.
A client from the Bedouin community, days after a 15-year-old girl was murdered in the name of family honor, was angry at the idea that the event was neutral, until she saw how much "good" and "bad" depend on the culture.
A study found that Arab mothers overwhelmingly chose to save the father, out of family honor, while Jewish mothers chose to save the son, and there is no "right" side here.
A reaction to an event has several levels that can pile on top of each other: a thought, a feeling that settles into the body, and a physical response like flushing or a leg that starts bouncing, and any one of them can turn into action.
Our real choice isn't whether the event happened, and it isn't even that first automatic identification with it. It's how long we stay in the victim feeling. A moment, an hour or seven years.
An event is any incident that stirs up something negative in us, from mild discomfort all the way to a powerful, intense reaction. What matters is that there is a link between the incident and the reaction. As long as there is no reaction, it doesn't count as an event.
As the episode presents it, we have no control over life events themselves. They happen whether we planned them or not. The only control we have is in choosing how to respond to them once they have already happened.
It's a process made up of four sentences: I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you, thank you. Each sentence stands for a stage in taking responsibility and in letting go of whatever comes up from the subconscious.
No. There's a clear distinction between taking responsibility and blaming yourself. Taking responsibility means understanding that something inside me is creating the situation, but without condemning or blaming myself for it.
No. Anger is a natural, legitimate reaction, and nobody expects any of us not to get angry or not to get hurt. The point is that every trait, anger included, has to be used in the right measure and not spill over into rage.
In the second episode of the podcast, Gili Man Wolner and Tal Eckerling talk about the events in our lives and the way we respond to them.
They offer practical tools and methods on the way to a fuller, more balanced life.
What even is an event? Do we have any control over it? How do we respond to it? And do we take responsibility for it at all?
We'll keep going deeper into the link between reality and the subconscious, and the way each one affects the other.
Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.
The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.
In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.
We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.
You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.
Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.
Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).
Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).
Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram
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