Your Focus Shapes Your Life

That thought stressing you out all day, is it even true?

Episode 46 · February 15, 2024

Consciousness and how we perceive reality

The Truth Hurts · Episode 46 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

There's one nagging thought that keeps coming back, and it feels like it's simply the truth. Gili Man Wolner says that stress is anger plus fear, and that both of them weaken the moment you choose to focus on something else. She offers an exercise, three simple questions for testing a thought like that, and along with it a short morning practice of gratitude and picturing what you want. The way she sees it, you don't think your way out of being stuck, you move your way out, even without full confidence, and even when it seems like you don't have much to give.

The truth

  • The month of Adar doesn't "give" us joy. All it does is expose what we're missing, and the decision to focus on the good instead is ours.

  • Stress is anger plus fear, and both of them weaken when you practice gratitude.

  • Three questions for testing a stressful thought: is it true, how does it feel in the body, and what would it be like if I had never had this thought at all.

  • A recommended morning practice: three deep breaths with three things to be grateful for, and ten minutes of picturing three things you want to happen.

  • Being stuck isn't solved by thinking, it's solved by moving. Better to act without full confidence than not to act at all.

  • Giving is what really gets us unstuck, even when it seems like we don't have much to give.

Questions and answers

What's the difference between people who succeed and people who fail?

The difference is that successful people don't give up and keep going, even after they've failed.

I'm stressed all day by this thought that won't leave me alone. Is it even possible to stop it, and if so, how?

Gili answers that yes, it's possible, through a process of three questions: is the stressful thought actually true, how does it feel in the body, and what would it be like if you had never had that thought at all. Along with that she recommends a daily gratitude practice, to break down the fear and the anger that make up the stress.

Why am I this stressed all day, and what does that even mean?

Stress is defined as a combination of anger and fear, and it really comes out of the thoughts we choose to concentrate on. Which means stress is a matter of focus, so you can change it by changing where you put your attention.

Why are we supposed to be happy specifically in the month of Adar, and why does it feel like we're being asked to be happy when I don't really feel it?

Adar itself brings neither joy nor sadness. What it does is highlight what we're missing, as a people and as individuals, what the soul wants and hasn't gotten yet. Because the month puts a spotlight on what's missing, the only way to deal with it is to do the opposite and concentrate on appreciating what we do have.

Gili's original episode description

Have you ever thought about the difference between people who succeed and people who fail?

The answer is very simple. Successful people don't give up, they keep going.

What shapes our mood is focus!

What am I concentrating on?

If you're concentrating on the bad, that's what you'll draw to yourself.

So why not concentrate on the good and let the good be drawn to you?

Gili and Tal stress that the critical factor shaping our mood and our results in life is our mindset and the thoughts we choose to concentrate on.

Focus is the key: what are we focusing on?

They point out that if we concentrate on the bad, that is exactly what we'll draw to ourselves.

So they suggest changing that mindset and starting to focus on the good, so that the good will draw more good to us.

In the end the episode carries a message of hope and inspiration, and invites listeners to take responsibility for their mindset and use it to create a life with more success, calm and happiness in it, and most of all, more love.

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram