Unity Through Forgiveness

Episode 52 · April 11, 2024

Anger and forgivenessUnity, division and society

The Truth Hurts · Episode 52 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

You go into a relationship hoping the other person will change, and that fails almost without exception. Gili argues that first you have to accept the person in front of you as they are, and that whatever bothers you about them is something to repair in yourself. The same principle holds for us as a people: as long as we go on fighting each other, an outside enemy does not have to do a thing. All it has to do is let us kill each other. The solution she offers is forgiving yourself, not as a gift to somebody else, and in her case it even lowered the inflammation in her body.

The truth

  • Trying to change the other person in a relationship is a recipe for failure. First you accept them as they are, and whatever bothers you is asking to be repaired in you.

  • If we keep fighting among ourselves, no outside enemy is needed. All it has to do is let us kill each other.

  • Since October 7 there has been a sharp rise, according to Gili, in the number of people immigrating to Israel. She sees that as evidence of a deep desire for unity.

  • Forgiveness is mostly toward yourself and not a gift you hand to someone else. For her, letting go of resentment actually brought down the level of inflammation in her body.

  • Anger, resentment and a sense of victimhood are presented as a direct cause of illness, because emotional stress damages the immune system.

  • Forgiving someone does not mean liking them. You can love people without being close to them.

Questions and answers

What is forgiveness, and who am I supposed to forgive anyway?

Forgiveness is described as a gift to ourselves, not as something we hand to someone else. Its root is our own need to forgive ourselves, and once you bring the Creator into the picture you can release the people involved and the event itself and understand that it is for our good.

Why does everyone talk about how we need unity when it never actually happens?

According to Gili, the reason there is no unity is that every person wants the other one to be like them instead of accepting them as they are. Trying to change the other side leads to failure, while real unity starts with accepting difference and understanding that what you see on the outside is a reflection of the inside.

How do anger and resentment actually affect our health?

Negative emotions like anger, resentment and regret are said to be the cause behind psychosomatic illness. The stress they create damages the immune system and leaves the body open to infections and to disease, and Gili says that her own inflammation markers went down when she started forgiving.

Why do I feel like something is owed to me when I'm depressed?

According to the story about Rebbe Nachman, someone who is depressed is given, of all things, verses about humility, because depression and sadness are described as a byproduct of feeling that you are owed something, and of complaints like "nobody promoted me," "nobody spoke to me nicely." Understanding that nobody owes us anything is presented as the way out of that place.

Gili's original episode description

In this episode, Gili and Tal talk about the power of unity and about how much love and forgiveness matter. They call for an end to the ongoing war between brothers, for rising above the feeling of who is right and what we are owed, feelings that lead to sadness and depression, and toward the recognition that everything we have in life is a bonus.

They stress how much we need love, and how important it is to love and accept every person as they are, without trying to change them.

They raise the importance of forgiveness as the key to harmony with yourself and with other people. Forgiveness is not only an act. It is a process of love in action.

Anger, guilt, resentment and irritation can bring on illness, and that is why we have to connect to a real willingness to forgive, which is an enormous step toward peace and wholeness within.

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram