Free Will: Where Choice Begins

Episode 35 · November 30, 2023

Choice, responsibility and free will

The Truth Hurts · Episode 35 · audio in Hebrew

The conversation

Reality right now presses in from every direction: a threat from the north, a threat from the south, and the feeling that close to half the world is against us, until even the dream of getting out and going abroad stops being any comfort. Gili argues that it's exactly this pressure that has brought up a conversation that was marginal for years: who we are, as Jews and as Israelis. From there she moves to a question that has been with us for much longer. Do we have free choice, or, as she sees it, is our reality a direct product of our own deepest wants, even when that sounds completely out there?

The truth

  • As Gili presents it, will is the force that builds reality. A person draws toward themselves a life that matches their innermost wants.

  • It's this pressure that brought back into the conversation a subject that had been marginal in recent years: who we are as Jews and as Israelis. She describes it as a whole country suddenly going into a panic attack.

  • The way Gili sees it, Israeli culture is closer to American culture than to European culture: it likes things big, shiny and fast. But underneath that, much more fundamental things are coming up now: confusion, fear, pressure and anxiety.

  • Inner control in a chaotic time starts with recognizing one simple fact: outer reality is the result of our inner wants, even when that doesn't line up with logic.

  • Will is the force that drives all of Creation, but there's a fundamental difference between wanting to receive for yourself and wanting to receive so that you'll be able to pass it on.

  • Until around the age of 13 a child acts almost entirely out of the will to receive for themselves, and then a long process of education begins whose whole purpose is to turn that will around.


Questions and answers

Do I have free will at all, or is everything already set and I only think I'm choosing?

Will is a deceptive force. We think we control it and that we're the ones deciding, but in reality a person draws toward themselves a life that matches their inner wants, and outer reality reflects their inner structure exactly, even when it looks illogical on the face of it.

What's the difference between the will to receive for myself and the will to receive in order to give?

The will to receive for myself is an egoistic will, while the will to receive in order to give is a will meant to let me give and contribute to everyone. Gili explains that until the age of 13 a child acts mainly out of the will to receive for themselves, and that after that a process is supposed to start in which that will turns around toward giving.

What does "everything is foreseen, yet permission is granted" mean? I don't really understand it.

The sentence explains that we have no control over the events of life themselves. They will happen whether we want them to or not. "Permission is granted" is about our ability to respond to them: does the event wound us, or do we choose to read it differently and move on?

What does Gili recommend doing now, when even running away from the situation doesn't help anymore?

Gili recommends going out and getting some air, seeing people and doing some sport, but above all checking all the time which inner place we're acting from in every small thing we do day to day.

Gili's original episode description

In this episode Gili and Tal take on deep, challenging questions about whether free will exists and what it means. Drawing on the Kabbalists, they ask whether there is such a thing as free will at all, and what drives us as human beings.

Gili and Tal explore will as a deceptive force: how we sometimes think we're in control of what we want, when in fact it's our will that draws a particular life toward us. They talk about the deep connection between outer reality and a person's inner structure, and about how a person can be carrying a confusion of wants inside them.

Our sages said: "Everything is foreseen, yet permission is granted." That's the difference between the events we have no control over and our response to those events, which is the moment we're given permission to choose and to control whether and how we respond.

The episode explains how the whole universe is built on the will to receive and driven by it, and offers a new perspective on the difference between the will to receive for yourself and the will to receive in order to give.

As always, in Gili's tips corner you'll find practical tools for dealing with your different wants, for telling the will to receive apart from the will to give, and for finding a balance that allows a life of free and conscious will.

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

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