Meet Gili and Tal: How The Truth Hurts Began

Why you feel guilty instead of angry

Episode 41 · January 11, 2024

Truth, lies and authenticity

The Truth Hurts · Episode 41 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

You wake up in the morning and something in you has already given up, before the day has even started. The way Gili sees it, there's a difference between anger and guilt. Anger is there to protect your boundaries. Guilt holds you back from the inside and leaves you stuck between "I'm the victim" and "I'm the one to blame," until it wears you out, and she says it can turn into illness and wreck relationships too. She's honest about one more thing: the way she sees it, we all kind of like picking at the wound, even when it hurts. Gili suggests a simple exercise. Stop before you react, and keep asking what is actually making you angry, because usually the thing that irritates you out there is a smudge on your own face.

The truth

  • This is the first filmed episode, after 40 episodes that were only recorded.

  • We get a certain pleasure out of our own suffering, the way we keep running the tongue over a sore in the mouth because it feels good.

  • Guilt tends to pass down through a family from one generation to the next, and it stands out especially in men born in June and women born in August, because of a heavy sense of responsibility.

  • Anyone who stays stuck between "I'm the victim" and "I'm the one to blame" gets worn out, and it can turn into illness and wreck relationships.

  • Anger was originally there to guard our boundaries with other people, and guilt stops us from the inside. Telling those two apart is the key to getting out of the cycle.

  • When something irritates you, stop before you react and keep asking what is really making you angry. The first answer is almost always superficial, and you have to dig underneath it.

Questions and answers

Why did Gili and Tal call the podcast The Truth Hurts?

Gili explains that the truth is always good but sometimes it hurts, and that the painful place is exactly where real growth happens. Gili adds that when the truth hurts, that is the only place where we can really change.

How does Gili explain the difference between guilt and responsibility?

As long as a person feels that somebody else is to blame for the story of their life, they haven't moved forward. Taking responsibility is the first step: understanding that first of all it's all me, even when I can't see how it has anything to do with me.

Why do I land straight on guilt instead of getting angry? What is that anger supposed to give me that guilt doesn't?

Gili explains that anger was originally there to keep other people from "taking over" us, meaning to protect our boundaries, while guilt is a feeling that keeps a person from acting at all.

Why do I always feel I have to please everyone instead of getting angry when something makes me angry?

People-pleasing is when a person gives up what they really want so they'll look kind and fit what the people around them expect. Gili notes that it stands out in people born in June, who figure out from a very young age that whatever is right and looks good to the people around them is the way to survive in this life.

How did Gili and Tal start working together professionally?

It started when Tal got sick with Crohn's disease. The two of them began working together in Gili's practice to improve Tal's health, after Tal had already tried other treatments.

Gili's original episode description

In this special episode, the first one actually filmed after 40 recorded episodes, Gili and Tal introduce themselves and the idea that became the podcast The Truth Hurts. They share the circumstances and the process that led them to create it, and tell the story of the personal and professional journey they went through.

The episode focuses on subjects like responsibility versus guilt, anger and resentment, and Gili offers a wide range of interesting tips as they go. The discussion centers on how to handle these challenges in everyday life, with an emphasis on building tools for personal growth and spiritual development.

The atmosphere is warm and intimate, and Gili and Tal give listeners a chance to get to know them more closely and to understand the passion and the commitment they bring to the subjects they talk about on the podcast.

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram