When Definitions Become Limits

Episode 48 · February 29, 2024

Truth, lies and authenticityFear and anxiety

The Truth Hurts · Episode 48 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

You know exactly what needs to be done. The list is clear, maybe even written down somewhere, and still nothing moves. Gili Man Wolner says this isn't laziness and it isn't a lack of knowledge, it's fear, sitting much deeper than it seems. Underneath the fear is an old thought that repeated itself so many times it turned into a belief, and that belief is what's actually deciding for you.

The truth

  • Gili doesn't like defining herself. She says that the moment you give yourself a label, you feel like you have to live up to every item on it, so she prefers to say she's all of it, depending on the situation.

  • In reality she coaches, she heals and she guides, and she combines different tools according to what the moment calls for.

  • What really stops us from doing what we know needs doing isn't a lack of knowledge. It's fear.

  • Fear is only an emotion, and an emotion comes out of a thought we repeat to ourselves over and over until it becomes a habit, and that is a belief.

  • Even when a person consciously knows that a certain belief is wrong, that isn't always enough to act differently. You have to expose it and challenge it.

  • The belief decides the outcome: someone who's sure there's always a way will find one, and someone who has already decided they tried everything and nothing helped will stay stuck in the same place.

Questions and answers

Why do I know exactly what needs to be done and simply don't do it?

Gili explains that she has a problem with definitions, because the moment a person gives themselves a title they feel like they have to live up to every item under it. She does use a wide range of tools, and she coaches, she heals and she guides, but at heart she sees herself as one whole that shifts with the situation and the circumstances.

I know exactly what I need to do, so why do I simply not do it?

The most important thing is to work on what you believe, because what stops us from acting is emotion and fear, and the fear itself comes out of a belief, out of a thought we repeat to ourselves over and over.

I know exactly what I need to do, so why do I simply not do it?

A belief is defined as a sense of certainty about what something means. It's built out of a thought that repeats over and over until it turns into an emotion and then into a habit, and once an emotion is attached to a thought it gets carved in deep, exactly like the memory of a significant event compared with an ordinary day you forget.

I know exactly what I need to do, so why do I simply not do it? Does it have to do with the beliefs I hold about myself?

Gili explains that we collect beliefs over the course of a lifetime, from what people told us and from what happened to us, but in the end we're the ones who build the belief ourselves. What other people say isn't what decides. What decides is what we chose to believe from all of it.

Gili's original episode description

In this episode, Gili and Tal look into the tension between our need for definitions and the risk of the limits they can create.

Definitions can give a sense of security, but they can also keep us inside a frame that leaves no room for flexibility.

The discussion centers on the way fears that come out of certain beliefs keep us from taking action.

Gili stresses how much it matters to work on what we believe as a path to positive change, and puts forward the idea that knowledge turns into power only once we start to act.

The episode invites you to take another look at the definitions and the beliefs running your life, and suggests ways to deal with the fears that hold you back from reaching your full potential, so that you can create a new reality that puts the power back in your hands.

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram