What Really Shapes Our Lives?

Episode 7 · May 4, 2023

Emotions and inner lifeConsciousness and how we perceive realityHealing, treatment and traumaEnergy, frequencies and mysticismJewish holidays

The Truth Hurts · Episode 7 · audio in Hebrew

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The conversation

You're right back in the same situation, the same kind of partner, the same fight, the same feeling of "here it is, happening to me again". As Gili presents it, that's no accident. Our subconscious remembers everything from the moment we were born, it's constantly trying to repeat itself, and so, without noticing, we're drawn to situations we already know. Even your least logical reaction in a tense moment belongs to a five- or six-year-old child who is still at the wheel. Once you look at that straight on, you can start changing direction.

The truth

  • As Gili mentions in the episode, a computer the size of four soccer fields still can't do what a brain weighing about 400 grams can do. That's her starting point for talking about artificial intelligence trying to imitate the human brain.

  • Advertising algorithms work exactly the way the subconscious does: whatever you're focused on is what you pull toward you, whether it's the car you just bought and suddenly see all over the road, or pregnant women you suddenly see everywhere.

  • Gili points out that Rebbe Nachman of Breslov said this hundreds of years ago. As she presents it, you are wherever your thoughts are, and that was true long before there were any algorithms.

  • The parable Gili uses is the green screen: just as you can film someone at home and swap the background for the sea or any other view, the reality each of us lives in is a kind of background we build ourselves.

  • When somebody reacts in a tense situation and then asks themselves "how did I react like that, like a child", it's no accident. The one who is really at the wheel is a five- or six-year-old child, with the conclusions that child drew back then.

  • Gili says that gradual wording like "day by day, more and more" works better than an absolute declaration that doesn't square with reality.

Questions and answers

What's the difference between the conscious part and the subconscious?

The conscious part sits in the front of the brain and covers everything we're aware of and able to pull out of short-term memory. The subconscious sits behind it and holds most of the information that actually runs us. It remembers everything from the moment we were born, including what was said to us and how we were treated, and it is actually the one in charge of our reality, more than the conscious part is.

How can a woman who grew up in a violent home find herself in a relationship with a violent man?

Because the subconscious wants to repeat what it already knows. Gili talks about clients in her practice who were drawn to a partner without knowing a thing about him in advance. Something in the subconscious simply pulled them toward him. The subconscious produces situations for us that look like what's already in our heads, even when it's painful and unhealthy.

Why does it only last a week every time I decide to change, and then fall apart? And how am I supposed to find out what's going on in my subconscious that's causing it?

There are approaches like meditation, guided imagery, or exercises that go back to childhood and bring memories up to the surface, such as an exercise from ThetaHealing called going up to the Seventh Plane of Existence. But there's also a simple way that needs no treatment at all: look at reality honestly and objectively, straight on, instead of believing the stories you tell yourself, and see the gap between what you declare and what is actually happening.

Why can't I tell myself "I'm not sick" when I'm trying to use affirmations on the subconscious?

Because the subconscious doesn't understand the word "not". It simply hears "I'm sick" and takes that in. So the affirmation has to be worded positively, "I'm healthy" for example, and not as a negation. That's one of the reasons certain affirmations don't work, and it's worth paying attention to exactly how you word them.

Up to what age do the experiences I went through decide how I function today, without my being aware of it?

There are a few theories about that. Some say that most of our life experiences are burned in during the first six years, and there's even a theory that our lives actually play out by the age of 10, and from then on they just repeat the same issues in a different form.

Gili's original episode description

In this episode Tal and Gili talk about the main thing running our lives: the subconscious.

Facts, stories and research that will set you straight about what really controls our reality.

And there's more! How you can find out what's hiding inside it.

One small note: at the start of the episode we talk a little about the energy of the month of Iyar (the month of healing).

The episode was recorded on April 22, 2023, which falls on the first of Iyar (the upside is that you get to look back on it with some perspective).

About the podcast

Listening to The Truth Hurts feels like sitting in on a healing session.

The truth can hurt. It’s right there in the name. But we’re not here to cause pain. Quite the opposite.

In each episode, two women sit down for an honest conversation: an Emotional Healer and her client.

We talk about healing and consciousness, faith and science, the body and soul, personal growth, energy, and different approaches to healing. Above all, we face the truth no one says out loud: everything around us is upside down.

Is this podcast for you?

  • You want to hear the truth, and you’re ready to face it. (Yes, those are two different things.)
  • You want to gain insight and improve your quality of life.
  • You want to make a change.
  • You want a deeper understanding of the laws of the universe.
  • You want to live a healthy life in body and soul.
  • You want to take away something you can carry with you for life.

You don’t need any prior knowledge. You only need the desire to explore a wide range of ideas and discover practical guidance for living.

Listen and get in touch

Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom.

Have a question about an episode? Send a WhatsApp message to +972 50-681-0611 (messages only).

Listen to The Truth Hurts (in Hebrew).

Tal Eckerling, co-host: Website · Facebook · Instagram